I have flown around the world (literally) many times over recent years on a mixture of national flag carriers, scheduled outfits and a fair share of low cost carriers.
It seems manners and airline and airport etiquette are no respecters of price.
I thought I would burden you all with a few of my own personal bugbears, but maybe, as with phoney hosted buyers, the industry should be encouraged to keep a central repository of common moans with a view to getting some action on these issues.
For those that champion face-to-face; it can be sometimes ‘in your face’, at least on the travel leg of that conference journey.
Let’s start with the trip to Check In: Do those width restriction barriers really help more than they hinder when wheeling your suitcase from tube to terminal? And some of those wheeling their carry on bags could develop a bit more special awareness and not weave around all over the place.
And, if you’re listening to music, be aware you can be clumsy due to not hearing the approach of others. Sitting next to someone with earphones oblivious to your personal space can also mean being treated to loud munching, sniffing or general background noises that would be toned down if only the earphone wearer were able to hear themselves as we hear them.
When joining that drawn out and, undoubtedly necessary, security process, it would be nice to have some standard procedure for whether you take your shoes off or not, as one prepares for screening.
And why are the ‘sheep pen’ taped off lanes not monitored during quiet hours? Who, after all, likes walking down needless zigzag queues when the place is empty?
Why do people on low cost carriers insist on forming queues for ages before the flight is called?*
On board the flight there seem to be a disproportionately high number of idiots oblivious to aisle flow who just stand and block the passage of others, holding up the whole process. Spatial awareness is never a forte of those last minute boarders who crash their way to their seats, bumping and boring us with their bags on the way.
And don’t you just wish the luggage would shift during the flight of those who open and slam shut overhead bins with no regard for other people’s faces.
Oh, and thanks for all those knees in the back through the flimsy seat and the sudden jolt as some dolt levers themself up using your headrest or sometimes even your hair.
Am I too English and reserved, or is reclining the seat when there is scarcely any leg room for anyone a no-no?
I do prefer the virtual stewards who point out for the one per cent of the population who cannot work out how to fasten a seat belt, rather than the big palava enacted for ages in the aisle.
And, do phones not switched off actually affect the plane’s electronics (I don’t mind confessing having accidently left mine switched on in my bag a couple of times and the plane didn’t crash)?
If the airline is to persist with the request, why do so many ignore the polite request to switch off that electronic device when asked; but instead ostentatiously continue to play Angry Birds? The announcement is not for everyone else but you.
The most inefficient shopping system ever invented must be the duty-free trolley. Note to managers: get a tenner of change ready in a bag before the flight, it may save some time.
Are air travellers the least likely gamblers ever? I’ve yet to see anyone buy a scratch card; or for that matter chip in for the crew’s selected charity.
One experience that has been improved, for the sake of some editorial balance here, must be the bin bags brought round to collect rubbish. I do remember having to sit, previously, half-covered in old papers, empty plastic cups and with food packaging stuffed in the back of the seat in front.
I’d best save the food experiences for it’s own blog, however, given the goulash that airport and airline catering can concoct. Maybe, dear reader, you’d care to set the ball rolling on that one?
But, if you survive all that; how about hopping up as the plane is still taxiing to be the first to annoy your fellow travellers. Either that or hang your belly/coat forward into your neighbour’s face as you grab your belongings overhead? If that doesn’t work, you could always be the first to ignore the request to keep your phone switched off and call a relative to tell them you landed:)
* A particular UK phenomenon
